how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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