that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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