i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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