Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
