My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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