Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
