are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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