dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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