we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
