Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
