sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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