just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
