hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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