One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
