Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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