I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
