Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
