I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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