You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
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