Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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