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i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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