SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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