I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
