His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
