I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
