I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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