You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
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Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
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I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize