i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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