I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
