YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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