is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
