why didn't you poke me back
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
