If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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