I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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