Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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