aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
