someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
two words...techno handjob
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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