Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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