drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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