Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I still have a little drunk in my system
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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