I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
