How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
