like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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