But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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