he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
