marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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