you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
dude. I can hear the air.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
