She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
