I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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