Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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