We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
