he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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