nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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