They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
should my penis look like a turkey
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
