I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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