babies were throwing up all over the place
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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