you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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