she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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