At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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