oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Randomize
