i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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