somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
