i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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