So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize