I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
