I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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