and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
