I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
