And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
